TJ Martin

Setting: An apartment; all that is shown is the living room, the bathroom door, the front door, and the kitchen.  

Characters: Roger, Delivery Guy, Nina

The Chi Town Shimmy

A phone rings. Roger enters and answers the phone.

ROGER
Stevenson speaking… No, it was no problem… The cash is at the drop off, Oswald shoulda’ picked it up already… The girl did great, Davy didn’t know what hit ‘em … Oh yeah, I took care of her; Willy and Bowler took her shoppin’ for shoes, if ya’ know what I’m sayin’… Is he satisfied… So he’ll lay off me for a couple of months… Yes sir… No, I’m sure; Willy and Bowler are good cleaners, they’ll handle it… Yes sir… Alright.

He hangs up the phone. Someone knocks on the door. Roger goes to open the door. When he opens it, there is a guy with a pizza box.

DELIVERY GUY
Mr. Stevenson?

ROGER
Yeah, how much is it?

DELIVERY GUY
Uhh, that’ll be $7.36 sir.

Roger reaches in his pocket and pulls out a 5. He snatches the box of pizza and throws the five at him.
ROGER
Keep the change.

He slams the door in the delivery guy’s face. The phone rings. Roger puts the pizza on the coffee table and answers the phone.

ROGER (CONT’D)
Stevenson speaking… Calm down Willy, I can’t understand what ya’ sayin’…

There is a knock at the door.

ROGER (CONT’D)
Hold on.

He places the phone down to go answer the door.

DELIVERY GUY
Uhh, sir, the pizza was $7.36… you only gave me five.

ROGER
Go away, shoo.

Roger shoves the delivery guy and slams the door. He picks back up the phone.

ROGER (CONT’D)
 Yeah, now what were you sayin’… What… What happened to Bowler… Where’s the girl… What! You let her get away… How the hell did you do that…

There is a knock on the door.

ROGER (CONT’D)
God, ahhh!

Roger puts the phone down and answers the door.

ROGER (CONT’D)
 Look you! I told you to get…

The girl at the door hugs him. Her clothes are a little torn and she is crying a little bit.

NINA
Hey baby! Oh my god, you won’t believe what happened to me!

She lets go of Roger and walks in.

ROGER
Uhh… what happened, baby?

Roger closes the door.

NINA
It was right after the job, when you dropped me off. This van drove up and dropped a guy off down the block. Do you have a smoke?

ROGER
Yeah.

Roger searches his pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.

NINA
Thanks, hon.

Nina takes a cigarette. Roger lights Nina’s cigarette and she takes a puff.

NINA (CONT’D)
Yeah, so I was workin’ my corner and that guy who just got out the van starts walkin’ towards me.

She sits down on the couch and takes another puff of the cigarette.

NINA (CONT’D)
So I think he’s a john or somethin’, ya’ know. So he comes up to me like all “Hey Baby, what’s your name,” and all that jive so I try to reel ‘em in, ya’ know. So we’re talkin’ and all and this same van drives up.

ROGER
Damn, that’s crazy.

He walks back over to the phone.

ROGER (CONT’D)
Can you hold on for a second baby?

NINA
What, can’t they wait?

ROGER
It’ll only take a second.

NINA
Sure, I was only telling you about how I was abducted and feared for my life! Oh, but that’s not important, you just go ahead and answer the phone!

She takes a puff of her cigarette. Roger picks up the phone.

ROGER
Yeah… I know… Right here… Oh yeah you’re gonna pay, don’t doubt it… Did she figure out… What about Bowler… He’s dead! God, you idiots.

He hangs up the phone.

NINA
What’s wrong baby?

ROGER
Oh, nothin’, nothin’. Just a bad deal downtown, that’s all; nothin’ to worry about. Finish tellin’ me what happened to you.

NINA
Yeah…Umm… Oh, so this same van drives up and another guy hops out.

Nina stands up and starts to act out the story, still puffing her cigarette periodically.

NINA (CONT’D)
So they grab me and throw me in the van, blindfold me and tie me up, then drive off somewhere. I thought they were gonna rape me or chop me up or somethin’, but when they pulled me out of the van, untied me, and took off my blindfold, we were at the dock.

ROGER
They were gonna dump you in the river?

NINA
Yeah, concrete shoes and everything.

Nina makes weird hand motions to depict the crate of cement.

NINA (CONT’D)
I saw the little crate thingy with the stuff in it, so I knew what was goin’ on. They were carrying me over there about to dump me in it, so I fought like hell.

ROGER
That’s my girl.

NINA
You better know it.

Nina begins to energetically  act out the fight, still puffing.

NINA (CONT’D)
So I scratched one jerk in his eye and he dropped me, then I kicked the other one and he let me go too. So I scrambled away, but one grabbed my leg.

Nina picks up a lamp to act the next part of the fight out.

NINA (CONT’D)
That’s when I picked up this 2x4 that was layin’ there and got one of the pricks in the head. I got up and hit him again and he stumbled off the dock and fell in the river. Then the other guy ran away, that little coward.

ROGER
Why do you think they were after you?

NINA
Probably some of Davy’s guys; but that doesn’t make sense though does it? We killed them all, right?

ROGER
Yeah, but no doubt somebody heard about it.

NINA
How did they know about me though?

ROGER
I don’t know, baby. I gotta go to the bathroom, okay?

NINA
God, Roger! Can I finish the damn story?

ROGER
Alright smart-aleck, what have I told you about that lip?

NINA
Yeah, alright, go pee.

Roger goes exits. There is a knock at the door. Nina answers it.

DELIVERY GUY
Umm, hello miss.

NINA
Hey there, you stud you.

DELIVERY GUY
Uh, yeah, hi. Is Mr. Stevenson around?

NINA
Yeah.

Nina turns to the bathroom door.

NINA (CONT’D)
Baby! There’s a pizza guy at the door!

ROGER (OFF STAGE)
Tell him to go away.

Nina turns back to the delivery guy.
NINA
He said go away.

DELIVERY GUY
Umm, yeah, well. You see, he short changed me, and if I don’t get the correct amount of money then that’s gonna come out of my pocket, so if you could ask him for the money please.

NINA
Oh, sure hon, hold on.

She turns to bathroom.

NINA (CONT’D)
Baby! He says you shortchanged him!

ROGER (OFF STAGE)
Tell him to go to hell.

She turns back to the delivery guy.

NINA
Well honey, he says go to hell.

DELIVERY GUY
But miss…

Nina slams the door on him and goes back to sit on the couch. A few seconds later, the phone rings.

NINA (CONT’D)
Hello… Uhh, he’s in the john, can I take a message… You found his buddy in the river… and it’s gonna cost more if the boss has to tie up his loose ends… Uhh, yeah… Okay, I’ll tell him.

Nina hangs the phone up just as Roger enters. He has a gun in his hand, but Nina doesn’t really notice.

NINA (CONT’D)
Baby, you just missed this guy on the phone. He said you had some kind of lose ends to tie up or somethin’ like that.

ROGER
Yeah, baby, I heard.

Nina then seems to notice the gun and hops up from the couch.

NINA
Whoa, baby! What’s up, are those mob guys coming here?

ROGER
No, I just got some business I have to take care of.

NINA
Oh, okay. Be careful, baby. I’ll see you when you get back.

Nina walks over to hug Roger, but Roger aims the gun at her head.

ROGER
Oh, I’m not the one going anywhere.

NINA
What the hell are you doing?

ROGER
I told you, baby, I just gotta take care of some business.

Nina runs for the door, but Roger runs in front of the door and blocks her way. He shoves her to the ground and points the gun back at her. Nina starts to crawl backwards on her elbows.

NINA
Why are you doing this Roger? What’s going on?

ROGER
What, you haven’t figured it out?

NINA
I guess I haven’t, 'cause I still don’t know why you got a damned gun pointed at my head!

ROGER
Come on, you’re not that naïve are you?

NINA
Wait… those guys who tried to kill me… those were…

ROGER
My guys. And you whacked one of ‘em, which just gives me an extra reason to put one in that empty little head of yours.

NINA
Why?

ROGER
Why do you think? The job was a shimmy.

NINA
What?

ROGER
I swear I didn’t know you were this stupid. But I guess I should explain this to you before I blow your brains out. A shimmy is a job where some poor little fool, that would be you, is brought in to do something important…

NINA
Like screw everybody while you rob and kill them.

ROGER
God, Nina! Can I finish my damn story… Thank you. So, you promise this fool money or power or somethin’ to get ‘em to do the job.

NINA
Then you kill ‘em?

ROGER
Yep… Pretty simple, huh?

NINA
I can’t believe you would do this to me?

ROGER
Why? Because you thought I loved you. (Laughs) Come on, a working girl from Kentuck comes to the big city and falls in love with a business man and lives happily ever after. (Laughs) Sounds like a movie or something.

NINA
So you call yourself a business man, huh? I thought business men dabble in honest and legal affairs; back where I’m from, they call men like you lyin’ scum.

ROGER
We’re all lyin’ scum here sweetie, it’s business. You do whatever you gotta do to get on top and I’ve done a lot worse than this.

NINA
You said it would be an easy job, we’ll take the money and get outta town. Miami… Hawaii… Somewhere nice. So you never gave a damn about me, have you? It was all just a shimmy?

ROGER
Yep… And now it’s time for you to shimmy on up to heaven. Bye now.

There is a loud bang on the door. Roger turns around and then the door bursts open and knocks him down. The gun flies out of Roger’s hand and slides across the floor. The pizza guy is at the door and he starts to hit Roger with a bat.

DELIVERY GUY
Nobody! Shortchanges! Me! I want my $2.36! Now!

Nina grabs the gun and stands up. She points the gun at the delivery guy.

NINA
Stop it. Stop it now.

The pizza guy drops the bat and puts his hands up.

DELIVERY GUY
Look lady, I just want my money. That’s all.

NINA
Roger, give him his money.

ROGER
What?

NINA
Give him his damn money!

ROGER
I don’t have any change!

She points the gun at Roger.

NINA
Give… Him… What… You… Have!

Roger gets up, reaches in his pocket, and pulls out another five. He gives it to the pizza guy.

NINA (CON’T)
Now go. Close the door behind you.

The pizza guy nods to Nina then walks out, closing the door behind him.

ROGER
You just made me waste five dollars, you know that?

NINA
You are a Class A jerk, you know that?

ROGER
Come on, baby…

NINA
Don’t call me baby! I’m not your baby! I’m not your anything, am I?

ROGER
Nina, look…

NINA
Shut up! I don’t want to hear it! You played me, Roger. You played me good.

ROGER
Come on, you’re not really gonna shoot me are you, baby?

NINA
I’m not your damn baby!

ROGER
Sorry.

NINA
You should be, you’re a sorry excuse for a human. Look, Roger, I want my money.

ROGER
I don’t have the money, Nina.

NINA
Fool me once and shame on me, fool me twice and I shoot you in the head! I want my money, now!

ROGER
I told you, I don’t have it.

NINA
You got three seconds to tell me who does!

ROGER
Look, Nina, I had some debts to pay to a very important man, okay.

NINA
One…

ROGER
Nina, I’ll let you walk away right now. No catch, nothin’. This is big boy business; you should just go back to Kentucky.

NINA
Two… Bastard…

ROGER
Al… Alright, Nina, there’s a man named Parone uptown. He runs everything in the city. I owed him my life, $1 million. That money was for him.

NINA
Three…

ROGER
Nina, you don’t wanna do this.

NINA
You know, you once taught me somethin’ pretty smart. You said never let a john pull one over on me. And I never will again.

ROGER
Nina look, you don’t anymore problems in this town.

NINA
I want my money.

Nina pulls the trigger, shoots Roger in the head. She stands there, shaking for a second. Then she lowers the gun slowly. She puts the gun in the back of her pants, and then walks to the door, stepping over Roger. She opens the door, walks out, and closes it behinds her.