Kate Tittle

“Gray”

slumped around a streetlight
looked up and was blinded
because I couldn’t see past the gray

let my heart sink through the side walk cracks
and faded with rushing cars
because I couldn’t see past the gray

found a story, but not the truth
prayed and gave up prayer
because I couldn’t see past the gray

ignored the voices in my throat
wondered everywhere I didn’t belong
that’s how I ended up so gray

heard another long lost prayer in the wind
it stung my tongue, my fingers, my mind
there was something past the gray

lost religion and found spirituality
feared Hell and been through Hell
to see past all the gray

----

‘Won’t Turn Away”

Now I walk slowly
down your hallway
into your prison
full of tears and empty highways

oh, what’s this feeling?
it’s fervid as a flame
just look into my open heart
and tell me anything
I won’t turn away

Your breath is shallow
your body’s bruised
I’ll still climb your walls
because I’m not afraid to lose

just tell me your feelings
that are fervid as a flame
just look into my willing eyes and tell me anything
I won’t turn away

Now there’s a story
that you’re trying to hide
I’ll run until I discover it
if it takes me the rest of my life

because I have a feeling
that I know your pain
andit’s gonna keep burning
until we find our way

just remember, for you I’ll do anything
I won’t turn away

---

“Innocence Lost”

Now everyone I’ve ever known
is running out of lines to cross
not much is left for the hungry wanderers
when they find themselves in Innocence Lost

Just like the man from Eldridge
who’d give his whole world for a thrill
but eventually his fiery renegade days
came to a bitter standstill

Then there are the gone ones of despiration
who shoot metal into their own rivers
and it seems no matter what blanket they get
their spirits are still going to shiver

And Nicole, her skin grows colder
as she lays bearing her cross
She mutters, “Who among us has been known
to escape from Innocence Lost?”

Now the moon softly glows in my window
but oceans away it’s covered in sand
and in each grain lies 1000 words
from all those dying hands

But sadly, it seems to me
that my friends are unaware
after awhile it’s all the same
it’s something that’s always been there

And none of them know the difference
between scrafice and loss
Sometimes the truth hurts too much
when you find yourself in Innocence Lost

I once had my visions
and breathed on a street of fireflies
until one night they faded away
and I found out they were just street lights

And I swear my skin is stone
that no one can look past
it’s just how shadows of sin protect themselves
after growing old too fast

and all my summertime photographs
are now covered in frost
and it’s hard to see all the faces
that now walk in Innocence Lost

Lord, is there a price I can pay?
How much would it cost
if I wanted to make it, alive,
out of Innocence Lost?

(and please keep me from following the same street signs
that lead me to Innocence Lost)

---

“Mystic Car Ride”

Hey Ms. Wild Eyes
queen of the mystic night
with your fingertips of fire
smoke spells out destruction and desire
Where are you taking me this time?
Are we vanishing into night?

Highways bleed from your rear-view mirror
these hazey eyes have never seen clearer
You’re straddeling the gravel road
engine burns on out heat alone

(We’re two moths dancing in the midnight
flickering signs blaze in the mist of night
just keeps burning
never stops burning
just keep flying
never stop flying

closer to the sun)

Oh Dear Father
you never heard this daughter
now I must say goodbye
I lost whatever kept me at your side
now I’m against the world with Ms. Wild Eyes

The crook in this girl’s lip
knows something I don’t
Golden fields turn blue with cigarette smoke

(and the lonely tide of stars
frees me with every swell
and crashes against Heaven)

I glance over my shoulder
and realize I no longer belong to the earth
There will be no resting place
because there was no place of my birth

And she drags on tiny embers of my soul
and replaces them with a new world

My dear Ms. Wild Eyes
goddess of what hides inside
You bring out the truth
in every wrong way, I want you

but how far are we going?
We’re not coming home tonight......

Stare into me with infinate eyes
Chase my thoughts
and dissect them
just to see all the secrets we’d find

I stare back into you
but I soon fall
into your nicotine-stained hands
and listen to the hidden cries
locked in the chambers of your mind
There’s more I must find

(fly me closer to the rays of midnight suns
I’m afraid, but not unwilling to try)

Above the Earth
between Heaven and Hell
in maroon rivers and dusty fog
lies the thin line of eternity
Do you want me to come?
Is this really where we belong?

There’s a stone-like determination
framing the bones of your face
It’s just another road
but I can feel the ripples in your soul

What’s really past these lights?
Is there more to your wild eyes?
Dissapeering from the skyline
bits of my life falling behind me

and they soon tumble against a land I remember
of metal that rusts
and spirits that shine before
they vanish into that ominous line
that you push toward with a vagabond mind

Turn back, baby
Turn back and i’ll catch you in my arms

Hey Ms. Wild Eyes
queen of the heart of the night
you say you’ve seen me
seen what I could be
in the light and darkness of eternity

but you never knew....

do you feel those embers turn to dust?
And vanish from my broken sight
as I try to return to my shelter
after witnessing the pain you tried to hide

(you’ve seen this earth
seen blood, tears, and dirt
but do you see our blues?
We’re burning down a path
that will drag us down in its blues)

run back home
run back home
I can’t live through every slow second
that you drag on my bruised soul
and take me into you

the crystal tide roared too high
The centerlights and your twisted lullibies
crashed down
and surounded
like summer rain

This isn’t a journey, it’s an escape

Come on Wild Eyes
what happened to life?

gotta turn back
please, turn back

I’m not ready to break through
give back the innocent soul that you drew
from my body as I trembled in a mist of love and hate

the smoke made you destroy
but the lonely ocean in the sky
urges me to create